by Leigh McGruder

After we finally arrived in Tanzania at midnight on Tuesday after traveling since 5:30 AM Monday morning, we found that our bags didn’t make it. We were told that they would come on the next flight there, the following morning. Well that was today, and they didn’t come. So here I am now, still without a clean pair of clothes. When I was told that I would have to go another day without my things, I had to walk away before I said something inappropriate. As I walked away, I realized how ridiculous it was that I was letting something like that take away my excitement to see my kids.

In that moment, I simply asked God to put me in check and to set my heart straight. And of course He did. But I didn’t realize he was going to test me again.

The pastor at the orphanage told us that the children would be waiting for us at the airport just like last year. Last year when our airplane landed, we were surprised by the children all standing in their school uniforms waving at us. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Ever since I left them last summer with tears flowing from every eye, I have dreamed about the next time we would be together.

So today, as the airplane was getting closer to the ground, I went to look out my window to find no children, no hands waving, no big smiles or open arms waiting to be scooped up into mine. I just sat there and wondered why? I traveled so far for these kids. Im doing a good thing by coming back here. God, why are you making everything so difficult?

Then it clicked. His ways are higher than mine. His thoughts are higher than mine. I had planned out my perfect picture of how everything would play out and thats not how God wanted it to be. I should’ve been mindful that God had a plan already.

When I got to the orphanage I was so happy. My kids have grown so much. They call me Leigh Leigh. I stopped worrying about my clothes that I purchased at the gift shop. I stopped worrying about how I was let down when the children weren’t at the airport. I was now surrounded by smiling children in dirty clothes and they don’t even care. I was awakened from my selfish fog.

In this season of my life, God has been trying to break me of my habit of having my own plans for certain things. I think He did these things so that I would realize that I have to stop making my plans and getting my hopes up only to be let down. I must see that God has a different way of doing things and that should be the only way I want things done.

And in that moment, when I get angry at the current circumstance, I have to come back down to earth, all the way on my knees, and realize just how good I have it.